Thursday, September 9, 2010

17. Entitlement-itis

What is Entitlementitis?
Well in case you didn't know entitlementitis is a behavioral disease that causes people to think that the whole world owes them something. They will walk around with expectations for things that they have not worked for but feel that they deserve. They have not realized that nobody is owed anything and nothing in life is guaranteed.
Entitlementitis can be short-term or long lasting, in most cases the length of the flair up can only be determined by the individual. If you or somebody you know experiences this disease for a long period of time please smack them across the face. Yes, it is ok to slap yourself.

What causes Entitlementitis?
The cause of entitlementitis is unknown, it has been determined that it can not be blamed on genetics. It is believed to be caused by a combination of environment and individual personality. If people are consistently given whatever they want and have people telling them it is ok then of course they will continue to benefit at no cost to themselves. TINSTAFL- there is no such thing as a free lunch (see I learned something in high school thanks Mr. Mann) one example would be if your entire family is on Medicaid then all the people working around you are paying for your family. It is not FREE!

How is Entitlementitis  diagnosed? 
There is no test invented yet to determine who has the disease. Luckily the symptoms are easily caught through human interaction. Since the symptoms are not easily hidden most of the time you can tell if somebody has the disease by having a conversation with them. If they constantly claim to be the victim and sit around expecting things they have not worked for chances are they have the disease.

How is it treated?
Behavioral diseases are usually the hardest to treat. Because people's personalities are so different every person would likely need a personalized treatment plan. Some steps that could be taken if you or somebody you know has the disease:
1. Slap them(  I don't condone violence but in this case some people are so deep in it they need something drastic)
2. Repeatedly tell them nobody owes them anything! When I say nobody I mean nobody, not their parents, not the government, not your job. We are guaranteed nothing in our lives just the air we breathe and some day I'm sure we will have to pay for that.
3. Have them watch a Disney movie because musicals make you want to dance and cartoons are cute so when you put them both together it will make anybody smile.
4. Smack them again to make sure they have come back to reality. Oh and people that do suffer from entitlementitis suck.

Now that I have informed everyone about this fatally annoying disease please everyone spread the word. I will spread the word while I go watch the Saints take on the Vikings soooo happy it's football season :)

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